An Update

Spring Break has come and gone, all too fast I may add, but it was a great week! The week before spring break brought on a little stress. I have a few sick family members that are on my mind, but I'm leaving that to god and trying to focus on the positive. With that in mind I left Friday to go to Denver to see Chris, We got my ski's and just hung out Friday night, and Saturday we went skiing, It was a blast, and just what I needed! Now, truth be told I'm a moderate skier (in my eyes) but then whew My brother was skiing backwards in front of me the whole way down the family fun zone so I guess maybe he is better than me. Later that night we got to go see Avatar it was really good!! I really just enjoyed the whole weekend and just spending time with my brother!! On Monday I got to have some Laura time and just played Xbox for a few hours, it was amazing and it really made me miss playing video games! L But I suppose I should focus on school before video games.

I worked wed-Friday and then Saturday well Saturday Spring had sprung!!! And well although spring isn't necessarily in the air, it will get there!!! J We had a freak snow storm on Friday/ Saturday setting all of the Midwest in frenzy, but not my mom and I! We still went shopping in KC, not the smartest choice but being home with my mom this weekend was the greatest time!!! I enjoyed every minute of it. My friend also went with us to KC so that was great!!!

And now it's back to reality. K-State has made it to the Sweet Sixteen, which means, we had a pep rally that I worked tonight. But what an exciting time for KSU athletics! Go State! But it's back to reality.

When did I grow up, and why am I fighting it?

I don't know what my deal is but lately I've been realizing how old I am. I know I'm not that old but I'm the oldest I've ever been! Ahahahaha A kid that I babysat turned 14 today!!! That's just insane to me! I've lived on my own for close to 5 years now!!! My 5 year class reunion would be this summer!

I'm a full time student, and I work quite a few hours at my job, I love my job, don't get me wrong. There are days (more often than not) that I go from class to work to homework, no break not goofing off. When I do goof off, I can't truly enjoy myself because I know how much homework I really do have, and things that I really should be doing. I do like to keep busy and I don't regret my job or the hours I work or the classes I take (except music 250 it may be the death of me!!! ) It's only at times when I'm working on my homework, and someone asks if I want to go out, wants to know what I'm doing Saturday. I'll be working all day, and I don't regret it I don't want to drink myself into a stupor, but why aren't they working. How can they afford to gallivant around and go where they please? I guess I'm jealous? But I don't think I am I would never want to do those things, does that make me old?

Once upon a time going to bed at midnight was going to bed early now 11pm hits and my eyes get heavy, and I try to wrap up whatever I'm working on, because I know I gotta go again by 7 so I can hit the next day! Once upon a time I would have loved to go to multiple concerts and just run around, but now I just think that'll be an expensive night! I would much rather go to a friend's house and play with their kids (and hangout with them) then to drink. I don't want to become cynical or a fun hater but maybe my lifestyle is changing. I know some of my friends who are right there with me in these feelings they may have experienced them before me but others aren't and I just feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I'm fighting the inevitable maturity. I guess I'm just wondering Am I ready for it?

"What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is a-goin' on here?"

What a day! A long, long, crazy day! The number one team in the nation KU lost to unranked OK State (I'm not even going to laugh at that it could happen to anybody!!! I just hope we hold it together this week!!! GO STATE!!!) The number two team in the Nation University of Kentucky, lost to the number seventeen team Tennessee!

K-State though was able to pull out a win in the end again Missouri, who we had lost to earlier in the season! Oh, by the way K-State is ranked Number SIX!!!! At any rate I guess it was just a big day for college basketball, I can’t wait for Monday to see the new postings!!!! Hopefully KSU Shoots up!

Now even beyond that, sometimes when I’m at work I think to myself how crazy it is that I work for Kansas State University Athletics, and we are in the PRIME of our lives! Ha! So cool!

Alright that is all for today, I know it’s been a while since a post, but this is all the energy I got for now.

Night!

False Alarm!

I had a rough night Wednesday night! I may have broke down, this decision making stuff may drive me nuts! So Thursday morning my mom sent me an e-mail that states-
Don''t forget to call tonight.


I hope the ad below makes you smile!

I bet you will have no problems deciding which bag you would want! :)

PD
the pic bellow was in the e-mail and it went on to say how if you spend X amount of dollars you get free overnight shipping!!! :)
 

 
So I teared up! My mom knew how stressed and upset i've been and decided to spoil me with a purse for Vanentines day?!?! I was so happy!
I quickly picked out a boxy lace purse

And a wallent i've been wanting I'd of course pay for!

Later when I called my Mom to discuss the issue of me paying for the wallet, She informed me that she was just showign me their promo, and that she just wanted to prove i could make a decision. (notice I still chose two things I can't pick just one!! :) )

Again the tear ducts swelled up, Don't tease a girl about her and her purse!!!  :(

Pessimism

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


While I understand this verse, I want to ask god where he placed my road map, because I can’t find it.

I used to think that I could accomplish anything that I wanted to and I miss that thought. I’m not sure if it’s experience or just pessimism that is working against me and my dreams but I’ve got a huge case of it. My dream would be to either work for a firm that did nothing but post occupancy evaluations, or facility management but these seem like jobs that would be the bees knees to me. I’ve even really thought about a firm that designs zoos. I just think those would be amazing jobs. Where do I find these jobs?!

I’ve thought about grad school, but it’d be for college student development and that’d only help me if I stayed in the collegiant facility ring, and I’m not sure I want to limit myself to that. I love my job that I do now but I think I like designing and seeing new things everyone and a while. Now I ask where is the machine that tells me what I’d be most happy at and make a little money too! I’d love to own a flat screen soon! (even though every time I turn on my TV I think about how thankful I am for my friends who gave me the TV that has lasted me 3 years now!!! Trust me I’d still use it I dream of a life with TV’s in multiple rooms!  )

Once I write this all out it seems clear to me that while grad school would be more education and another notch on my belt it may not be the right thing for me now. Maybe I should just get a job and see where that leads me, but I love my job here and my friends that will still be here and my parents! If I leave that job won’t open back up because I come back, but is it time for me to leave the nest? Is this all just cold feet? When I left for college sure there were some nerves, but I knew where I was going, it wasn’t really a choice and my brothers were a couple blocks away. But I’ve grown up; I’ve lived without my brothers around for almost 3 years now. (I’ve had other sit ins but I manage)

How does one know when it is there time to move on? How do I know that I’ll succeed?

Well that’s all, I’m not expecting answers, I just needed an outlet. This blog has been great for that!!! Otherwise I just got to remember to relax and pray.

also incase you didn't catch the title of my blogs, the next title will be Irony! hahaha

Optimistic

Optimistic- disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
Ok so we've talked before about life changing and things becoming different. I feel as though maybe I've become a little negative towards life. I have NO CLUE where my life is taking me, and I may complain about it at times. Ok, lately I complain about it a lot, hahaha. I've decided to be more optimistic. I know I have to relax and just let god take control, and that's hard for me. I know ultimately he is the one who decides. It's not up to me to please everyone when I can't even make myself pleased. So I'm going to sit back and just relax and try my hardest and dream big and just go for it all! I know no matter what I've got great friends, and family who will support me no matter what happens!
Ok so on to another topic....
Valentine’s Day is only 10 days away.... for those of you who don't know Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays!! Any occasion when I can wear pink and red, just makes me so happy! I've never had a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day and well lately it's looking like another year without a boyfriend but I'm really not to upset about it. I mean sure I’d like to date a certain someone right now but the more I think about Valentine’s day and well life I realize that ok so for 22 years I've been single on valentine’s day but eventually that won't be the case, and I won't need a holiday to feel extra loved, it should happen more than one day a year! :) With all this in mind it doesn't mean I still don't REALLY LOVE Valentine’s Day!!! I don't think I really relate it back to a day for couples as much as I think of it as a day for love! I LOVE Valentine’s Day! What a great day set aside to really tell someone you love them, like them or can stand the sight of them!!! hahahaha


Speaking of love, I finally get a weekend off this weekend! I'm going home!!! Play some wii with the parents; celebrate a late Christmas with my mom’s family! It's bound to be a great weekend!!!

So I guess that's just about where my head is at right now, even though it's everywhere!!! :)

PS Did I tell you that I kind of think that blogging might actually be helping with my writing skills? I've found it so much easier to organize my thoughts for papers lately. It's kind of fun!

A true friend.

So I thought of this quote today,

A true friend rejoices in your successes and offers encouragement when you're down. :)

and relized how fitting it is for this time. I'm not self loating or trying to get someone to read a hidden message, but how fitting this quote is for this semester.
Issues have come and gone and a lot changes when people mature or progress with life, wither that be good, bad or indifferent. But I am finding it imporatant to remember that a true friend rejoices in your success (doesn't show jelousy or condisending thoughts) and offers encouragement when you'e down.
I read an article in O magizine last week about a lady who had recieve a journal from her life long friend and in that journal there were notes and letters between the two and the lady who recieved the gift relized that the woman that was pertrayed in those letters wasn't the woman she felt like she had been. Her notes were full of sorrow that she felt for herself, and few questions about how her friend was doing.  I realize now that I don't want to look back and see that same image. I want to know that for every time i've had a pitty party that I have RSVP'd to my friend in needs pitty party. Obviosly I'd RSVP to a party of a friend.
so with all those thoughts I leave with a true friend REJOICES in your successes and offers encouragement when you're down.