I don't know what my deal is but lately I've been realizing how old I am. I know I'm not that old but I'm the oldest I've ever been! Ahahahaha A kid that I babysat turned 14 today!!! That's just insane to me! I've lived on my own for close to 5 years now!!! My 5 year class reunion would be this summer!
I'm a full time student, and I work quite a few hours at my job, I love my job, don't get me wrong. There are days (more often than not) that I go from class to work to homework, no break not goofing off. When I do goof off, I can't truly enjoy myself because I know how much homework I really do have, and things that I really should be doing. I do like to keep busy and I don't regret my job or the hours I work or the classes I take (except music 250 it may be the death of me!!! ) It's only at times when I'm working on my homework, and someone asks if I want to go out, wants to know what I'm doing Saturday. I'll be working all day, and I don't regret it I don't want to drink myself into a stupor, but why aren't they working. How can they afford to gallivant around and go where they please? I guess I'm jealous? But I don't think I am I would never want to do those things, does that make me old?
Once upon a time going to bed at midnight was going to bed early now 11pm hits and my eyes get heavy, and I try to wrap up whatever I'm working on, because I know I gotta go again by 7 so I can hit the next day! Once upon a time I would have loved to go to multiple concerts and just run around, but now I just think that'll be an expensive night! I would much rather go to a friend's house and play with their kids (and hangout with them) then to drink. I don't want to become cynical or a fun hater but maybe my lifestyle is changing. I know some of my friends who are right there with me in these feelings they may have experienced them before me but others aren't and I just feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I'm fighting the inevitable maturity. I guess I'm just wondering Am I ready for it?
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