Pessimism

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


While I understand this verse, I want to ask god where he placed my road map, because I can’t find it.

I used to think that I could accomplish anything that I wanted to and I miss that thought. I’m not sure if it’s experience or just pessimism that is working against me and my dreams but I’ve got a huge case of it. My dream would be to either work for a firm that did nothing but post occupancy evaluations, or facility management but these seem like jobs that would be the bees knees to me. I’ve even really thought about a firm that designs zoos. I just think those would be amazing jobs. Where do I find these jobs?!

I’ve thought about grad school, but it’d be for college student development and that’d only help me if I stayed in the collegiant facility ring, and I’m not sure I want to limit myself to that. I love my job that I do now but I think I like designing and seeing new things everyone and a while. Now I ask where is the machine that tells me what I’d be most happy at and make a little money too! I’d love to own a flat screen soon! (even though every time I turn on my TV I think about how thankful I am for my friends who gave me the TV that has lasted me 3 years now!!! Trust me I’d still use it I dream of a life with TV’s in multiple rooms!  )

Once I write this all out it seems clear to me that while grad school would be more education and another notch on my belt it may not be the right thing for me now. Maybe I should just get a job and see where that leads me, but I love my job here and my friends that will still be here and my parents! If I leave that job won’t open back up because I come back, but is it time for me to leave the nest? Is this all just cold feet? When I left for college sure there were some nerves, but I knew where I was going, it wasn’t really a choice and my brothers were a couple blocks away. But I’ve grown up; I’ve lived without my brothers around for almost 3 years now. (I’ve had other sit ins but I manage)

How does one know when it is there time to move on? How do I know that I’ll succeed?

Well that’s all, I’m not expecting answers, I just needed an outlet. This blog has been great for that!!! Otherwise I just got to remember to relax and pray.

also incase you didn't catch the title of my blogs, the next title will be Irony! hahaha