So my positivity is out the window as of 9 this morning. I don't feel good! I'm sick of not feeling good!! I want to feel normal again! If I'm suppose to eat something with my medicine so that my medicine can make me feel better, I don't think it's fair that I only feel more sick and more nauseous!!! Plus it leaves a NASTY taste in my mouth!!! I just don't think it's fair!!! Plus I have to wait till the 29th before I get CONSULTATION to figure out whats wrong... I mean they might not even have any thing for me at that point. I could go in answer a bunch of questions and still be left with the biggest question unanswered... What's wrong with me? I hate this feeling! I hate not knowing, I hate knowing that tomorrow I won't feel better. I used to think maybe it just needed to kick in but after 3 weeks... I've lost hope! I'm nauseous, my stomach feels sour, I have odd indigestion, and a stabbing pain every once in a while (it varies in location sometimes it's in my front sometimes the side, sometimes the back, one thing remains constant it's around my intestines!). I feel like it's not normal to sit at a desk and every once in a while have to move or try to catch my breath because a stabbing pain is shooting through my intestine! I feel like trips to the bathroom shouldn't take 20 min and not have much of an outcome! (maybe a little TMI but this is my journal and this is my rant!)
Ok I do feel better now though, so I'll go back to sitting at my desk working on the computer, trying not to cry.
Not to mention my physical pain, my emotional pain is that I feel like I'm failing as an employee, and a student. But I don't feel good!! So I don't want to do anything but lay around and not move, I want to be in sweatpants, in the comforts of my own home. I'm trying to remain strong, I hate people worrying about me or being weak. So I'm back to being strong.
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