Internet: My drug of choice!

Oh the Internet! According to Wikapedia (my valid resource)
"The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet Protocol Suite (TCP/IP) to serve billions of users worldwide. It is a network of networks that consists of millions of private, public, academic, business, and government networks, of local to global scope, that are linked by a broad array of electronic, wireless and optical networking technologies. The Internet carries a vast range of information resources and services, such as the inter-linked hypertext documents of the World Wide Web (WWW) and the infrastructure to support electronic mail." - accessed 2/23/11


To me... it's my scape goat! I spend probably 3/4 of my day on the Internet, either on my phone or on a computer. I always have my e-mail up, I can access my facebook with the swift tap of a finger.
I have a list of about 10 websites that I check daily to catch up on the news/ entertainment. I even use the Internet as my sounding board, with this blog, and my facebook status.  Needless to say, when it comes time to do my homework or to focus on tasks at hand... the Internet is always there to distract me!
So here is my thoughts... I know self control should be able to stop my Internet use... but it doesn't...
So here is my promise to myself. I'm done with the Internet, (that's a lie!) I am only going to check my e-mail once in the morning, once at noon, and once after 5. (That's still 3 times a day, I live a sad life!) I am thinking about deactivating my facebook as well. i just don't know, it is my form of communication with my boyfriend, so that seems to be a dumb thing to do, but we could use skype. If I can't get my addiction under control in the next 2 days, I'm going to turn myself in for hardcore therapy and cutting the ties. It's a warning to myself, hopefully I can follow through with this.

29 years...

29 years ago today my parents got married,

 29 years ago my parents made a promise to stay together for better or for worse,

29 years ago my mom and dad got married.

I think we all know I'm a pretty big fan of my parents. A huge reason I adore my parents is cause for 29 years, I've never seen my parents fight, sure they may have a few tiffs, some sarcastic remarks towards each other, but it's always followed with a smile! My parents taught me how to love, the importance of family, and the value of hard work. They have taught me everything I know. (ok sure I've learned a few things on my own too, but I couldn't have done it without the support of them!) Its days like today that remind me that I'm lucky to be around home still, I got to spend my parents 29th wedding anniversary with them! We had a great lunch, where it still makes my heart swell how they are just one amazing unit. I had an amazing afternoon with my parents, just getting to hang out with them.

I find it funny and amazing to watch my parents. My dad is patient, kind, funny, hard working. My dad seems to always have a calm face on, which may be needed when you have a high strung daughter like myself!  It may surprise some of you but I am a lot like my mother. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, my mother is successful, strong, funny, caring and still gorgeous at the age of ___ well that's nobody business but hers! ;) But my parents share this amazing love, and I guess in some ways its just kind of nice to see the future. If the best of their qualities rubbed off on me then I can hope that I end up being half the women my mom is, and that when I get married that I'll be half as happy as they are. 

Stella, may have tried to jump into the picture, can you blame her though?

After 29 years, They've never looked better!

Back to Bloging

Ok so I know I’m not the best at keeping up with this… oops! To be honest, I had kind of given up after the last blog. While I can’t lie and say that I am back to happy happy Laura, I may not be able to see a light at then end of the tunnel, but I at least feel like I have a flashlight!

To catch everything up, I still don’t feel that great. I have good days and bad days, I’m getting better at recognizing when I just need to go to bed, or  I just have to do accomplish what I have to accomplish and focus on me. In the last week, I didn’t’ just have a flashlight in my tunnel, I had a maglight! I have some great things going for me, I need to learn to just accept things and just trust that I am making the right decisions and that god will take care of things even if I didn’t make the right decision. I also need to learn to be more confident, I've never been really confident, I talk a big game... but I'm pretty insecure, but I'm working on it. I'm going to get there sometime. I can at least see now, that I can change and work on things.

This past week, I have thrown away lots of stuff that I just don’t need/use anymore. I feel like I have cleaned up/out part of my life! In the last two weeks I’ve kept up with the dishes, the vacuuming, and cooked dinner for myself. I fell better already.

If you didn’t know I got a dog. She has been a great help as well!!! She holds me accountable, she needs me, and what a great feeling that is! She is sooo happy to see me when I get home, she has been a huge boost to me, I love taking care of her. She is the light of my life at this moment! We do have our moments of frustration too, but overall she’s been amazing!

I started doing more things on my own, I was suppose to go to a Bo Burnham show with a friend, well, he bailed, and I still wanted to go. I called day of the show, got my single ticket, and went! I was in the 3^rd row, amazing seat it was kind of nice. At the same time it was kind of hard, 

Valentines day came! For the first year ever, I have a valentine, and while he may be far away, I’ve never felt more loved! I got some gorgeous roses, an exquisite necklace, and some other really thoughtful things! Now that its been a week I'm going to dry the roses so they will last even longer, or thats my hope. :)

 Even hanging, they are a piece of art!

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had my break down this weekend. I'm sick of my body hurting, I'm sick of not feeling good. I want to be everything to everyone and yet I can't do anything for myself. The tears are rolling down my face as I type this cause I don't even know how to do that.
How do turn my life around? I've tried the resolutions and that didn't work cause I didn't feel good. I have the answer to my problems or at least a solution as slow as it seems. and I know it's only been 4 days of antibiotics (but I still don't feel good) I'm hopeful that I'll get there and yet scared. I think I've become grumpy and pessimistic to life. and I just don't know how to turn that around.

Pretty Productive Day!

Please forgive the mumble jumble of pictures.... I just can't get them to line up nicely and I'm too tired to deal with it! :)

I was able to take the day off today!!! It was much needed after working all weekend. So I started the day off with, sleeping in!! It was amazing, while I kind of wanted to get up earlier to accomplish something, I went on sleeping! Then I was able to talk to Brian, which always makes my day! I ate a little lunch, and then watched the E true Hollywood story of Saved by the Bell, and I may have napped a little more! I then finally awoke from my lazy day and decided to pick up all the clothes in my room… IT NEEDED IT!! I wanted to move some of my furniture around but that'll have to wait for another day, when I can get someone else to help me move stuff around, cause it's also going to have to take some re organization… but I think ultimately it'll really be a lot nicer for me to accomplish more. Now I just need to find the time and person to get someone to help me out! Ha! I was reminded that tomorrow is a potluck at work, so I had to run to the grocery store to make this DELICIOUS Corn Dip,

I make mine a lot more spicy then my mom makes hers, so I added some festive jalapenos on the top so hopefully people get the hint that it's going to be spicy! I had already wrapped Brians gifts for him. (Which is really funny seeing as how most of the stuff I am sending him he actually bought and I'm just forwarding on to him, I went ahead and wrapped that stuff up too!) But I needed to add tags to them. I love the way it all turned out, I just hope it doesn't get messed up in transit! I also finished the Stocking I made, I had wanted to make a really nice one, but thought this one was cheaper and would be able to keep my occupied in decorating it while serving the purpose… it also won't offend me if he tosses it after the season. I cut everything out on my own and of course added ample glitter. I'm actually really pleased with the way it turned out! So now it's off to bed! Tomorrow night I hope to clean up my living room and put away some of that junk from this last semester! J

Private Matters

While writing my post for my blog, I have tried to use discretion on names, and events. I feel like my dirty laundry doesn't need to be hung everywhere to see, while I do enjoy being able to vent a little publicly... I don't though understand how people can put their emotions on their facebook status when they are completely inappropriate!!! There has been now 4 people on my facebook (2 of which I have already de-friended) That completely diss their spouse on facebook on their status! How disgusting is that? Now I understand people have marital issues and I don't doubt that being married is hard... but I fail to see how it would make one feel better to publicly embarrass each other, especially when your friends are friends with your spouse!
Tonight's occasion bothered me the most I think because I expected better out of this person, the previous two people I could easily have seen this talk but not the one I read tonight it read...
- Seriously thinking I should of never got married. Maybe people were right saying we were too young.
This 1. breaks my heart that she would be in pain but also it makes me ill to think that this should be public knowledge...
I have to say that this post isn't as demeaning as the other posts I've scene but I feel like If I truly had an issue with my other half then I need to take it up with him first... If I can't talk to him about it, I have my family, and friends. I don't mean to sound like I'm on a soap box but when did become ok to demean your spouse over the Internet?
- I understand that there are other issues in lives that make these things dirty, but I just don't want to read about this stuff on facebook.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! :)

Alright, I'm back and smiling... ok I'm back! ha! I'm stressed to the gills, and of course when I'm stressed I tend to dwell on the negative. so this posting is focusing on a few of my favorite things.My moms Christmas tree! I love gold and red! I love being home around Christmas, I love the smells and the presents and the shopping I love Christmas trees!

This is my Christmas tree! :) It used to be in my parents basement every christmas, it's nice and small, kinda perfect for my apartment, it also brings a little bit of home to me.

This is my moms nativity, there is actually a light in the barn. I do love it.

Oh our fireplace! the most amazing place around Christmas, I love our stockings, there were made by my mom! I love how they are all unique and home made.I LOVE OUR STOCKINGS! the painted santas all along the bottom were painted by my Aunt and my mom, I still remember my mom and her painting them in our basement. I think they are extremely cute!

This is a new edition, its a lantern that normally just houses a candle, but my mom had the great idea of just filling it with a thing of potpourri then shut it again, it is REALLY COOL!!!

So those are just a few of my favorite things!